Not Fine Friday... Number My Days

My paternal and maternal grandfathers went home to be with the Lord years ago when I was still a child.  For about twenty three years, I had another grandpa right here in the United States.  We did not share the same DNA.  His blood didn't run in my veins. But he was Grandpa. And to my children, he was Great-grandpa. I loved the conversations of faith that we had, as scarce as they were.  He was a great man who was always interested in everything you had to say. He was such an even keel, cool, calm and collected man.  He would have conversations with my son about Lightning McQueen and Ben 10 as if those were the most interesting things on the planet.  My boys have a Hess truck for every Christmas they have been in this world thanks to Grandpa. Unfortunately, he went home to be with the Lord this past week.  My heart aches because I don't think I ever let him know just how much he means to me and my family.

It is a hard hard lesson for me.  I don't like the awkwardness of calling people when sometimes I may have nothing to say.  But I have to look past that awkwardness and just say, "How are you? I love you."  And if they don't pick up, leave a message.  If they don't call back, who cares?  Job 14:5 tells us, "You have decided the length of our lives. You know how many months we will live, and we are not given a minute longer" (NLT).  During the prayer service and also during the Mass, the priest spoke about my grandfather's service to this country and also to the patients at St. Francis Hospital.  Grandpa lived a full life and loved on people, even strangers who didn't reciprocate or appreciate his service.   One of the verses that the priest read was John 14:27, "I am leaving you with a gift--peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don't be troubled or afraid" (NLT).  Grandpa continued to visit and volunteer the patients regardless of their reaction to him because he had that peace- the peace of who he is in Christ and his purpose, which is to serve Christ.  You see, Jesus didn't just extend the gift of peace to his original twelve disciples.  This gift is for you and me.  His hands and feet of this generation.

I am committing to let the peace of Christ flourish in me, too. We are not guaranteed tomorrow or even the next hour.  I don't say that to be morbid, but rather to encourage you and also encourage myself.  I want to rest in my identity IN CHRIST so that I express my love to those I love regardless of the awkwardness I feel. I want God to "Teach (me) to number my days, that (I) may gain a heart of wisdom" (Psalm 90:12, NIV).   Sometimes we take God's gifts- a new day, the people in our lives, the cool breeze in our hair- for granted don't we? (Or am I the only one??)

Go ahead, pick up the phone and let your loved ones know you love them.  Don't let your spouse walk out the door without saying, "I love you." Go to that teenager that just made you want to pull your hair out and hug him- even if he pushes you away. Let us accept the wonderful gift of peace that we have in Christ so that we can love without abandon.

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I wasn't sure if I wanted to admit my major life fail but I decided to share it to encourage others who may have the same struggle.  We are an imperfect people with a perfect God.  On the last Friday of every month, my friend Christa hosts #NotFineFriday where other bloggers share their "not fine" moments and share how God has swooped down and redeemed them or works with them to overcome these moments.  Check other "not fine" moments on Christa's blog.