My Word, 2019


SURRENDER. That’s a heavy word. In the last three weeks, up until New Year’s Eve, my prayer has been, “Any word but that, Lord.”

What does it mean to surrender?  Jesus said we are to take up our cross daily and follow Him. Like Paul, we ought to be able to say “I have been crucified with Christ.” It isn’t physical crucifixion. It means being all in.

I went to a couple of “greats” to see what it actually looks like to live a surrendered life.

Oswald Chambers wrote, “Our motive for surrender should not be for any personal gain at all... It is like saying, ‘No, Lord, I don’t want you; I want myself. But I do want You to clean me and fill me with Your Holy Spirit. I want to be on display in Your showcase so I can say, This is what God has done for me.’... Genuine total surrender is a personal sovereign preference for Jesus Christ Himself.”

Andrew Murray, in his book Absolute Surrender (a must read), wrote, “Building an altar in our lives today means establishing a place, a purpose, and a process to our worship. It means recognizing that our true identity is uncovered when we die to self and allow Christ to live in and through us.”

When I gave my life to Christ years ago, I surrendered my life to Him, or so I said. But because I am a flawed human being, I haven’t always lived a surrendered life. I still try to control situations. My pride is something that I still wrestle with. I still like to hold on tight to my plans, my kids’ lives, my stuff. I did a little bit of surrendering in 2018 with my word, SIMPLIFY. There were quite a few good things I had to surrender in keeping with the whole “throw off EVERYTHING that hinders.”

I honestly don’t know why surrender is my word for 2019. And while I’m being honest, it scares me a bit. BUT because God is awesome, He didn’t let the New Year come without some assurances.

The last church service I attended for 2018 was in the campground we were staying in the Keys. The main point of the sermon was how life is a bumpy ride and we need to buckle up our seatbelts and try to enjoy the ride. That doesn’t sound Biblical but it’d take me too long to summarize her sermon on the shepherds in the Christmas story (Matthew 2:1-12) and how the main point came from that. So I just wanted to share that take away.

Then, the final book I read for 2018 was Remember God by Annie F. Downs. I won’t spoil the ending but after reading it, I was reminded that I CAN trust that God is kind, even if circumstances don’t end up the way I’d want them to end up.

So... SURRENDER it is. I still don’t like the word. I still find it intimidating. BUT I will embrace this word and surrender to God my own ability to follow through with living it out because:

“Moment by moment I’m kept in His love,
Moment by moment I’ve life from above,” Andrew Murray.


<3,
Marie